There are times when your child would not understand when you say “NO” to him. He would think that you are being too strict and unreasonable. You may or may not be responsible why your child may not understand you but mastering effective parenting skills can be the step towards a change in the behavior of your child. He could develop acceptance of the rules set up in the house.
It is true that one of the requisites of being a good parent is showering love to the children. However, the most important tool to a parent-child relationship is teaching the kids values and morals; these are tools that will mold their character and outstanding behavior.
Effective parenting skills do not come easily. It encompasses effective communication skills too. Parents have to learn and apply them to the children. When you teach values and morals to your kids, you foster a bond between them. They can be disciplined individuals with a display of behavior that any parent can be proud of.
Essential parenting skills that bring results
- Be the role model. Children love to to act like their parents. What they see in you is what they mimic. You have to be the adult that you want your child to be.
- Show your unconditional love. Despite being angry and giving punishment, let you child know that you love him despite his misgivings. It is not he who is being despised but his actions.
- Remain calm at all times in front of your child. Never be the impulsive parent that every child hates. Being calm means controlling your outbursts. Being angry is normal human reaction but before you confront your child of a wrongdoing, cool down first.
- Explain the consequences of wrong doings. You have to let your child know why he does not have to commit bad actions. There is consequence for every wrong thing done. When he understands, he will not commit the bad action and instead would choose the right behavior.
- Help build your child’s self-esteem. Tell your child that people will look up at him when he behaves well. Let him know that children do err at times but the wrong doing can be corrected. Teach the child to ask forgiveness and always commend him when he exerts efforts to amend his ways.
Preventing bad behavior to develop in a child
There are other parenting skills that require consistency of implementation to be effective in preventing bad behavior to develop.
- Be as vulnerable as your child. Tell him that there are things he does that scare you. Vulnerability will show your kid that you were once a child and what he experiences are normal but reparable. If you are his role model, he will take after you.
- Praises for good behavior can be effective at most times. Always show you child how happy you are when other people praise him for his good doings. Tell him that the people are praising his parents in a way for being good mentors. Children will love when their parents are admired by others and would exert efforts to keep people’s high esteem of their parents.
- Never give in. What is taboo is taboo. When your child insists, stand firm in your first decision. Consistency as parental skills comes in here.
- Punishing is okay but if possible, it must be done sparingly. What you have to do is talk to your child. You punish him because there are consequences to bad actions. Do not make him be accustomed to punishments. At the end of the day, he will continue with the bad behavior, anyway he can endure the punishment.
What if the behavior of the child is already unbearable
There may come a time when you can no longer tolerate the bad behavior. Even if you talk to him, give punishments or be angry, he continues to do prohibited things. It would seem that you have no control on him anymore. Do you think your parenting skills are not effective anymore?
Having made use of all the parenting skills that you have mastered and the kid still demonstrate bad behavior, you can already go to a therapist or a counselor. These are people who have rigid study and training on dealing with uncontrollable children. You can be taught more other effective parenting skills and together, you can both work to change the actuations of your kid.